I have so many moments in my life where I find myself opening my mouth just to change feet. And sometimes I can hear the words I’m saying and they make absolutely no sense but my brain is two steps behind my mouth which has decided to go rogue and think without consulting the brain and…..Oh. My. Goodness. *cue the blind panic*
But for the most part I find that people tolerate my awkwardness because they sense it’s coming from a genuine place.
But lately I’ve encountered an awful lot of people who operate on a whole different level to what I’m capable of. They can actually speak without sounding like a complete lunatic AND they can influence people. These are two things I am absolutely positive that I will never achieve whilst sober or sane. Anyway….
So I started to actually pay attention to these people thinking I may learn a valuable tip or two. And I listened really, really closely. And I concentrated really, really hard. And then…OH MY GOD! These people are just saying what everyone wants to hear! They’re lying and they don’t give a damn.
You can imagine how shocked I was. I know that I live in the nation’s capital and I am surrounded by politicians every day but still I was thrown. I mean I thought that sort of thing went out in the 90’s. Aren’t we all about speaking our minds and respecting other’s opinions and all about #positivity?
It would seem not.
Then I starting trying to look at why they were doing this and what they were gaining from it. The results were interesting my friends.
There seems to be two distinct camps.
One group is the kind who are really into what you’re saying. They will often have some interesting take on the topic being discussed and then generally praise you for your enthusiasm of said topic. You will generally come away from meeting these people feeling a little bit better about yourself and life in general. These people are what I like to call “people who have great people skills and are generally very nice.” (Listen I know it’s a long title but that’s pretty much what they are).
They just want to be nice and interested in you and let you bask in the glow of their awesomeness. They use their powers to influence the other person’s view of themselves and their world in a positive way.
I like these kinds of people.
Then there are the other ones. This group listens to you as though they are interested in your ideas and opinions. They will openly engage in discussions but these chats will generally leave you feeling a touch uncertain of yourself and life in general. And you may feel an overwhelming need to bathe after engaging in a chat with them. That’s because they are constantly gathering information about others and disseminating that information for their own gain. These people are what I like to call dickheads whoops! Sorry about that slip – it was unnecessary. They’re called “people who have great people skills but only use them for their own advantage”. (Personally I think dickhead is way more snappy and appropriate. Shorter too.)
They just pretend to be nice and listen for anything they can use and will often influence the other person into self-doubt and then use their ill-gotten information for their own good.
I don’t like these kinds of dickheads people (sorry I did it again – it’s a failing I have).
I’ve never understood why some people need to trample others down to get ahead in life. Ultimately we are all on the same path to the same dead end, so why must we make it a competition on who can outdo the others?
I can’t answer that one for you folks but here’s where I hope to be heading:
I hope that one day I can string together a coherent enough sentence and be socially poised enough that if I am conversing with another human being they come away from it feeling more of the happy and less of the used. Or to be able to learn lots of interesting factoids from others without giving a second thought as to how I could use them to my advantage.
Oh who am I kidding – I really just want to be able to either speak clearly or be socially appropriate. Either one will do – I’m not greedy.
I hope I get there one day.