My husband and I are the quintessential odd couple.
He is an accountant. He is a partner in a good sized firm. He’s a workaholic who excels at everything he does. He’s never failed at anything he’s tried. He’s tall, active and attractive and he’s got an excellent personality (despite his occupation). He’s self-assured, not overly opinionated and as solid as a rock. He’s gentle, kind and never has a bad word to say about anybody. He’s funny – and tells terrible jokes that everyone laughs at. He’s not into reading or music.
On the other hand, I am almost the complete opposite.
I’m an uneducated bogan. My hourly rate is not ever going to make anyone green with envy. (I’m certainly not the boss and even the janitor outranks me at work.) I’m a perfectionist but not a workaholic because I enjoy my life outside work. I fail at everything. ALL. THE. TIME. I’m short, clumsy and my personality is one that not everybody is a fan of. I question my worth and abilities all the time; I’m too opinionated. I think I’m hilarious but sadly seem to be the only one who ever finds me amusing. I could not ever imagine living without reading a book again and if music is ever outlawed I’m leaving this planet and moving to Mars.
Ok. I can hear you all reminding me of that old proverbial “opposites attract” thing right now. And to a point you are right. But here’s where things get can get tricky folks. How different is too different? Which line gets crossed that causes you to say we’ve had enough and we’re too different to work?
From the minute I met him I wanted him to be more to me than another friend. He just wanted to be friends. He wasn’t the type of guy I would ever have pictured myself with. But I just knew in the pit of my stomach that he was THE ONE. He was definitely not so sure. I hit on him and he turned me down cold (OUCH). But eventually I beat him (metaphorically) into submission and he surrendered.
I can remember our first date like it was yesterday right down to what we were wearing. He has zero recollection of it ever happening at all. And yet he can remember the phone number of every single place he’s ever lived in…..go figure.
So you can see that for the entire last 24 years we have been at complete odds. And still here we are. Married 20 years. Two kids. Some pets and a mortgage. So it has to be right. Doesn’t it?
But there have been tough times. I mean, seriously gut wrenching, packing bags and walking out of doors kind of bad. We’ve done it all. Couples counselling. Individual counselling. Ignoring the problems. Confronting them head on.
I often wonder if the reason we are still together is because generally we find that we are on the same page. Or if it’s because we both still kind of dig each other and maybe there’s just something there. Or is it that we are both a bit stubborn and refuse to simply give up. Or could it be that we’re both just a little bit crazy and gluttons for punishment.
I’ve seen couples break up over the simplest of things like “he eats with his mouth open” or “she buys too many handbags” and it gives me cause to wonder sometimes. I often tell him to be with someone more like himself. He says no. Told you we were at odds.
It sometimes makes me wonder if we, as in society, give up too easily. Do we throw away all those years of shared experiences too hastily? Where do you draw that line in the relationship sand? It seems so varied, from people who quit after a couple of days (I’m looking at pretty much all of Hollywood) to the people who stay together for far too long.
I actually don’t have any idea.
So I just leave it at this, but I’d love your feedback. What’s your view?
P.S. I let him read this and he disagrees with the whole lot. Told you so. Odd couple.