I’m really only writing this in response to someone who gave me some feedback on my blog. They said that while they enjoyed reading my musings they didn’t feel as though they gave them any insight into my personality (what the? I thought my blogs expressed all my levels of crazy!). So here goes nothing, but be warned – sometimes dear reader you may learn things you can’t unlearn no matter how much you want to….
- I have a morbid fear of heights. I know what you’re thinking – so what? Well, my fear involves small heights. Like standing on a chair or walking down a flight of stairs. If it’s a height where I can sustain any kind of injury, I’m all terrified, but if it’s a distance where my death is ensured I’m all kinds of brave and don’t care. Weird I know but I never said it was a rational fear.
- I have actually plotted to kidnap someone’s goldfish. Let’s just say I had some really good reasons and I’m just going to leave this one right here.
- I once used my lack of gang affiliations as something I was proud of in a job application. Funnily enough I never heard back from that firm which sucks because I really thought I wanted that job. So does that mean the moral to that story is that maybe I need to join a gang?
- My brain is constantly overactive. I mean it seriously never rests. If I’m not negotiating world peace I’m writing my next blog or completely planning out step by step how I would kidnap someone’s prized pet (see point 2). It also seems as though I do my most exceptional thinking during the hours of 10pm and 4am.
- I may come across as a fairly confident person but half the time I have no idea what I’m doing and I’m totally winging it. But it seems to work. Most of the time. Or sometimes. I think. Maybe.
- My favourite animals are hippos. Not because I think I look like one, it’s because I think that it’s awesome how something so cute can be so deadly. It’s like if you met one in the wild, with its cute little squishy face and little flappy ears, it would be all like “Hi. Nice to meet you. Come closer and let me cuddle you. WITH MY GIGANTIC MOUTH WITH A BITE FORCE OF 1800 POUNDS PER SQUARE INCH!!” They’re just friendly like that.
- I rarely cry but when I do it’s when I’m watching movies or really bad TV commercials. Or listening to the current playlists on all our commercial radio stations.
- I have absolutely zero musicality and yet it’s all I’ve ever wanted to do with my life. I mean zero. Like when I auditioned for a high school musical the nun who was casting it put me in a chorus group and gave me a speaking part. In a musical. A speaking part. Told you so. Zero ability.
- Over the last few years I’ve discovered I like things I always thought I didn’t. How I hear you say? By trying them. Turns out you can’t make a judgement on something until you try it (who knew!?!). Some of these things include olives, scallops, long walks and beer. Oh lordy do I really, really like beer….
- I’m pretty sure I’m not doing what I’m meant to be doing with my life but I’m working on figuring out what it is I am meant to be doing. Every time I think I’ve found a way through the fog of uncertainty and the clouds start to part, it turns out it’s just God/a higher power/aliens giving me the universal middle finger and saying – wrong way turn back. I’ll let you know when I know.
- I have a few tattoos and am planning some more. And I obviously am not great at maths because that was thing number 11 about me. Oh well.
So there you have it. Now, why not let me know something about you that not everyone else knows.
P.S. I really am sorry to that poor goldfish and its’ owner. But I think the important thing to remember is that I never actually carried out my plan. Isn’t it? And I did mention that I had a really good reason didn’t I?