I have been writing this article for a while now. No. I’m not having trouble with my auto-correct again, I’ve just needed some time to clarify my thoughts on today’s topic. Because it’s such a touchy one and I know my views are going to be somewhat controversial.
So here goes.
I want all the feminists in this world to stop telling me that I have to be one of them.
*Lou is now ducking for cover in her pre-prepared nuclear bunker*.
Just hear me out.
I appreciate that feminism played a vital and valuable role in helping women gain valuable fundamental rights. In high school I loved history. It was one of my favourite subjects and I particularly enjoyed reading about significant women throughout history. I am constantly amazed by all the stories of those brave trailblazers in our history who refused to back down on their beliefs just because they were women. I am truly grateful to feminists both past and present.
What I can’t come at though, is being constantly told by many of my feminist friends, colleagues and the wider feminist community that I have to be just like them when I don’t want to be just like them.
Excuse me if I am wrong but wasn’t part of the whole feminist movement based on allowing women the right to think and act freely? Well then I choose to do exactly that.
I am all for women’s rights. Nothing lights a fire in my belly quicker than a man trying to intimidate me. I will always bite back when a man tries to “put me in my place”. I won’t change my beliefs to fit in around any man no matter who that man is.
Just stop telling me I have to join your crew. Seriously – you lot are starting to scare me a bit with the anger and the vengeance and the whole “if you’re not with us you must be against us” babble.
Just stop it now.
I simply do not believe 100% in your agenda. There. I said it. Out loud. And yes a bit scared. But I said it all the same.
Because just like you I’m allowed to say what I think.
Anyone who knows me personally would probably tell you I can be a little bit feisty. OK, a lot feisty. I freely admit this. They may also mention that I have a shoe addiction but that one is still being negotiated….I mean whose definition of “too many pairs of shoes” are we using? Theirs? My husbands? Einstein should have thought of an equation for that one…..anyway back on topic. I won’t let a man tell me what to do so why am I going to let a woman?
Does this make me wildly unpopular with some of my friends? The radicalised, card-carrying feminists? Yes. The realistic ones, that are feminists at heart but rational in their craniums, who just shake their heads whilst patting mine and pass me another wine to sip on in between outraged rants? No. You see they know what I know. We all have a right to say, think, feel and live however we damn well please.
Don’t even try to tell me otherwise ladies.
I think at heart I am a humanist. I love women. I also love men. I love that we’re so different and yet most of us seem to basically want the same thing. We may want to work in jobs we feel passionate about; we may want to meet someone and fall in love; we may want to be single and independent; we may want to fight for our beliefs; we seem to simply want to be happy irrespective of our gender.
I fundamentally believe that my equality is an implicit fact. I am equal to all others in this world irrespective of gender, race, socio-economic standing, religion or sexuality.
Because of who I am I would never have let someone force me into joining their cause just because they said I had to. (For example, the Scientologists have already put me on their “too hard to recruit into a cult” list and I can’t see myself buying a Thermomix anytime soon.) I have the right to choose what causes I sign up for in this world and I choose not to join the feminist crew. How could I in all good conscience fully support something that I don’t completely agree with?
I see no problem with that so why can’t everyone else just leave me be? Seriously. You guys are freaking me out a bit. I’m going to have to stop answering the door just like I did with those lovely young men in short-sleeved shirts with ties who kept coming around to tell me that there actually is a God. But that’s a whole other story isn’t it?
Just live and let live people. It’s pretty simple.